Nearly every girl dreams of becoming a mother, but after her dream is fulfilled, she often forgets that she still remains a woman. Beautiful, desired and loved. Most mothers say that their first sex after childbirth was similar to the first time they had sex. However, there are those who, despite everything, want to have sex while they are in a maternity hospital. Naturally, when such mom gets home she embodies the dream into reality, but these ladies are very few.
According to statistics, more than fifty percent of new mothers have problems with sex that lasts at least three to four months. In eighteen percent of women similar problems are continuing within the first year after birth.
When and how can I solve this problem?
Immediately it should be noted that it is allowed to have sex after giving birth only after four to six weeks. During this time the uterus gradually returns to its previous state, heals the place where the placenta was attached (after the placenta separates during delivery on this place remains small in size wound surface). Thus, during the first five or six weeks uterus is very vulnerable to infection. Having sex in this case may lead to endometritis (inflammation of the uterus). Also during this time vagina returns to normal, since during delivery it was severely stretched. However, this process can be artificially accelerated by performing Kegel exercises, special training aimed at developing the muscles of the vagina and perineum. In the middle of the last century Arnold Kegel has created a unique method of training for women, in which there was involuntary urination. It later emerged that these same exercises are able to improve blood circulation, increase sexual vitality and even to control orgasm. To find out exactly what muscles she needs to train, a woman tries to stop the stream of urine during urination. Once able to identify the necessary perineal muscles, we must learn to strain and relax them. What’s great about these exercises is that you can perform them at any time and in any place, on a walk, a bus, and so on. In the majority of cases, doctors allow a woman to have sex within a month after giving birth. In cases where was used caesarean section, such problems should not arise at all.
Sometimes there is situation that a doctor has allowed a woman to have sex after giving birth, but she still does not want to. In this case, one should not exaggerate, predicting irretrievable loss of libido and starting frigidity treatment. First of all, we must understand why this is happening. Typically, reasons related to the reluctance of women to have sex are quite obvious, but could be possible that they hide deep in the subconscious. If you look at the problem more globally, it can be concluded that the decrease in sexual desire is some kind of natural law. As long as the child needs protection care and affection of his mother, the woman’s body would not require another kid. That is why a completely healthy woman can experience decreased estrogen levels in (the hormone responsible for pleasure). As a result, newly mother can feel vaginal dryness even in periods of high sexual arousal. There are also other reasons for which women do not want to have sex: increased fatigue, which is complemented by feeling mad on the husband, if he does not help the woman with the child or due to any other domestic issues.
Another reason for low libido — an injury of soft tissues. During labor, soft tissues of the vagina and perineum were severely affected. Perhaps the doctors even imposed stitches or you had episiotomy. In such situations, it is scary to go to the bathroom, not to mention having sex after delivery. Pain after labor can bother for a long time, up to one year. Usually 6-9 months. It may happen so that you would forget about the seams in a couple of months.
For the first time after giving birth and during the period breastfeeding arise a challenging problem of vaginal dryness. This is normal, but causes severe discomfort for both partners during amorous pleasures. High-quality lubricant, preferably without additives easily solves this issue.
Little baby dramatically changes the life of the family. Kids require a lot of effort and attention. It is great, if there is a sympathetic and understanding assistant, or a young mother begins to dream of sleep and a cup of tea in silence. Even a five-minute shower seems a paradise! Under such conditions, first sex after having a baby is constantly postponed indefinitely.
Often the problem of lack of sex derives from the lack of common interests. Partners simply cannot or do not wish to express their feelings and communicate in any other way. Then a wife begins to panic and suspect that the husband will cheat on her, so she starts intimate relationship even when it is very painful. Look for new points of interaction and alternative forms of sexual relations.
It also happens that a woman suffers from the so-called “postpartum depression”. Most often this occurs against the backdrop of a misunderstanding between spouses, lack of support from the partners or even his infidelity. In such situations only help of a professional psychologist can help. To the same group of problems can be attributed reduced self-esteem of women. Pregnancy deeply reconstructs the body of the mother. Massive work, done in 9 months, affects the figure of the woman. Can there be anything more beautiful than the female body, recently created a new life! However, our cultural settings dictate otherwise: fat, belly is hanging; she looks tired and often wears dirty clothing. And instead of gratitude to her, the woman begins to quietly hate such a wonderful body. Unfortunately, men often only enhance these feelings of a young mother.
Contraception is an important aspect that should be considered before restoration of sexual life.
For some reason, there is a perception among people that until complete recovery the menstrual cycle or when a woman nursing the baby, she cannot get pregnant. This is absolutely wrong. The cycle of menstruation may begin approximately on twenty-eighth day after labor, but it also may not occur during the entire lactation period, which naturally does not mean that a woman is not able to conceive. So what remains? Calendar method in this case wouldn’t work. Even in “stable” times its effectiveness makes only fifty percent. As regards the hormonal pills, thoughts of reputable doctors seriously diverge. One part of doctors is convinced that hormones can get into the breast milk and cause some harm to the child, while others insist that with proper selection of medicines these pills can’t cause any harm at all. Anyway, only a skilled doctor should select a medicine, do not self-medicate. If a professional chose a suitable medicine for you go ahead and purchase it in a drugstore, or you can simply buy birth control pills online. The last option is perfect for those mothers who cannot leave the baby alone while they are at the pharmacy. An alternative could be the injection method, which operates from eight to twelve weeks or the subcutaneous capsule that protects a woman from pregnancy for five years (it could be removed anytime). Last but not the least effective form of protection is the intrauterine spiral.
A huge number of new moms wonder how to have sex after childbirth? I case of vaginal dryness can be applied special oils and gels that are available in any sex shop. For women, it is important to be attractive and do not doubt themselves. It is important to remember that the sexual contact begins restoration of former relationship — it is considered to be the end of the postpartum period and the start of full family life.